doing my makeup at the family breakfast table
hi (4 months later)
life since july has been light. there’s less on my shoulders and my massage therapist can attest to that (hi bri!). but still, there are days like these and times like these (thursday, 5:33pm) when everything i’m afraid of returning ruminates in my mind. i’m grateful that it’s not a permanent feeling, a feeling without an expiration date. one of my friends would call this a bird moment, and i’m sure by providing context you’d be able to visualize the beak i’ve grown and the seeds i eat. perhaps i’ll share my bird thoughts in a later newsletter.
lately i’ve been making a more conscious effort to not only nurture my self, but to add a gloss and blush before i step out for the day. there’s something about pressed powders and creams that provide a grounding effect and remind me that i’m still a person inhabiting the earth.
i’ve found myself doing my makeup at the family breakfast table most sunday mornings once i finish my tamale because i would be the first one to wake and the first one eat (because waiting almost an hour for everyone else was not going to cut it). i still sit with my brother and my parents, engage in conversation and listen to the stories of their childhood and how they would hitchhike with a funeral procession on their way to find their long-lost (insert family member). in between gasps and laughter i would darken the beauty marks on my face, apply another coat of mascara. i would feel my mom’s eyes on me during this and in those moments, i knew i was applying extra blush for her, choosing a bolder lipstick for her. whatever she denies herself of now, she makes sure i am not without.
i’ve found myself including my dad in my #GRWMs and have asked him a handful of times to choose the fragrance that best suits me. maybe it’s the fact that he’s shared more family history with us, maybe it’s the fact that i’m getting older and so is he and there’s no more room for anger where love should be. he has good taste (bibliotheque, truly a man who gets me).
enough about family (i’ll start crying).
here’s everything i’ve been consuming lately:
celeste by giardini di toscana — while only a sample has been acquired from scent bar, it’s making its way into my personal collection before the end of the year (god, if you’re listening, if you can read this). as i shared with my friend and the person at scent bar whose name is a -ber month, on my skin it smells as though i have something sweet stuck between my teeth.
musica
a touch of jen by beth morgan — parasocial relationships, local microinfluencers, an unhappy together-by-default couple, and a touch of magic realism disguised as pyschedelic horror.
accentuating my freckles and thinning my brows — less permanent/less damaging than cutting bangs (again)
gilmore girls (no comment)
bar tarot readings — inspired by a reader at the shop i work at, and already considering keeping a deck of playing cards in my little bag, i found the cutest tarot cards in a compact tin while walking around the city with a friend. very much looking forward to reading people whose inhibitions are next to none after a few drinks.
i hope i don’t stay away for a quarter of the year again.
all my love,
C
Beautiful to read 🥺 i can see what you write